So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
