they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
