Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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