So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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