I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
