Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Another day, another engagement, another cat
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
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