i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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