Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
