Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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