You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
