remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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