i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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