Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
