My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
