The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Walk of Shame today included voting.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
