Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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