I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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