never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
