I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
