Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
