I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Everything about him screamed your future.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
