I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
