it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
ugly people sure do ruin things
love makes seman taste better
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Randomize
