Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
