You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Randomize
