He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
