Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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