I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
