glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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