yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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