i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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