Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
