They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
