Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Randomize