Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
