we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
