please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
