Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
