16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
