I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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