He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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