piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
