It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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