dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think my vagina is haunted
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
