You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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