love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
