dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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