Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
