If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Is it penis luge time yet?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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