Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
