Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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