Me too!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
