I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
