Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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