he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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