His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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