Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
